"Where are you...???? I'm in a glass case of emotion!"

Well, not really. But I've just watched Anchor Man and now I've got all sorts of distracting phrases flying threw my head. Ahem:"Veronica and I are trying this new fad called 'jogging'- or perhaps is 'yogging' with a soft j. Apparently you just run for an extended period of time-it's supposed to be wild."

Ok. Enough of that. I'm just going to start off by saying "You know how to cut to the core of me Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair." Sorry. Last one. I promise. 

Although I'm not in a 'glass case of emotion' per say, I am in a little place called Alpha, and granted it's not quite as exciting as a Will Ferrell flick, I suppose it's about time I told everyone a little bit about the town, my job, and the people around me. To make my current life and situation appear more exciting than it actually is, I've decided to present the information in the form of a movie script or, more accurately, what I believe a movie script looks like: 

A Gateway to Western Outback Australia

The Story of a Roadhouse

Cast of Characters

Glenda Henry-Part owner of Roadhouse. Entrepreneur and full time business woman-owns three companies in various cities and numerous real estate investments; consequently only visits Alpha perhaps two or three times a month. Although hardly present, she holds a particular view of how the Gateway should run on a day to day basis which conflicts with the opinions of many of her employees.

Collin Valler-Part owner of Roadhouse, lover to GLENDA. Though owner, operates more as a handyman dealing with construction projects and day to day running of the roadhouse. Interesting mix of personality traits: one minute good humored joking, the next frustration when you don't read his mind and innately discern what he wants to be completed.  Rumored to hinder financial gain of roadhouse by buying expensive 'toys' (AKA fancy tools) and borrowing 'petty cash' for personal use from safe.

Deion-Recently arrived New Zealander charged with newly instated post of manager to the roadhouse. Talkative, jovial, and hard working man 40 years of age, he is well liked. Resents GLENDA and COLLIN for interfering with his duties and preventing him for doing the job for which he was hired-day to day management of the business.

Narelle-Runs cafe adjoined to roadhouse in addition to administrative duties. Wife of DEION, although not a KIWI (New Zealander) but an Australian born woman of 28. Together they have five children ranging ages 1 to 13: the four oldest from previous marriages and the youngest, CHARLIE, being a result of their union.  

Charlie Marie-Daughter of DEION and NARELLE age one. Adventurer, trouble maker, and all around cutie pie. This rambunctious tot, whose recent achievements include learning to walk, is well known for falling down stairs and harassing pets.

Tanya-One of three customer attendants currently employed at the roadhouse, TANYA is a local woman in her late thirties/early forties and is the longest standing employee at three years. Friendly and accustomed to the job, she performs tasks she feels are necessary avoiding doing anymore than she absolutely has to.

James-English traveler in his late 20s, JAMES is a carpenter by trade. This is-to his dismay- his second stint in Alpha working closely with COLLIN on numerous projects at the company's behest. Quiet and reserved, this man from Birmingham retires from work generally to cook dinner, have a beer, watch a bit of TV, and head to bed. His plan is to save as much money as possible in the next 6 weeks before traveling Australia with his father.

Chris-Half English/half Malaysian backpacker in his early twenties and employed as a customer attendant. Tall, dark, handsome, and incredibly goofy, CHRIS is solely working in Alpha to save money for his travels. When not working, he is most likely to be found playing the computer game Medieval War II 

Shivonne-Adventurous Texas nomad age 23 traveling with her boyfriend CHRIS. Also employed as a customer attendant but frustrated with the monotony of the job. Looking forward to continuing her travels through the great country of Australia as soon as she has saved enough money.

Time

Present Day. Southern Hemisphere Autumn. Spanning the months from March through May.

Setting

Small town Australia in central Queensland-on the eastern edge of the infamous outback. The worn roadhouse sits along the well known Capricorn Highway which makes it way from the east coast starting at Rockhampton and plunges through the heart of the outback situated on it's namesake, the Tropic of Capricorn. The roadhouse hosts customers ranging from the daily locals (whom can be friendly, though slightly eccentric) to the frequent travelers-both international and domestic, from lonely truck drivers to energetic families. The counter is attended by only one worker at a time, making the job a solitary and often lonesome one.

To see how the play unfolds, you'll have to keep reading! (Don't worry, I promise not to play this in script format from now on :)

Yes, I'm still alive...

Okay. So you knew it would happen-am I right? I have a nasty tendency to fall off the face of the earth- I out of the blue stop blogging/facebooking/emailing/phoning/post card sending/etc. However, before you get your panties in a twist, note that this time I have a valid excuse. I live in OUTBACK AUSTRALIA people. Turns out, it's kind of remote. Go figure. After my first week here, my internet source was cut off, our multiple sim cards under numerous networks are, of course, the wrong ones for this rural area so I have no phone contact (not to mention the pay phones here only take phone cards which they don't sell in town-whole hell of a lot help huh?) Luckily I got a wake up call from my sluggish correspondence existence about a week ago; unluckily it was in the form of a frantic transcontinental call from my very worried parents. Note to self: when traveling as a young woman in a foreign country on the other side of the world, your parents MIGHT want to be updated at least every couple of weeks, or at the very least have your contact information. Oops. Imagine my surprise when in the middle of my morning shift last week the phone rings at work and, after answering in my normal fashion-"Alpha Gateway, Shivonne speaking"-I hear my father's voice on the other end-"Why haven't you called us?" Oh crap. Let me tell you the surprise knocked me off my feet-I dropped into a chair and actually teared up. It's funny how homesickness can hit you all at once from just a small trigger. After mitigating my family's fears of any bodily/mental harm that could of befallen me on my travels so far, I had to say a quick I love you and hang up. Pretty much sucked. Anyway, moral of the story, the call from home kicked my rear in gear and I was determined to find a way to communicate out here in the bush. But what to do?

Success! I asked around and found out that Alpha has an 'electronics store' (I have to use that term loosely; by store I mean large shed stuffed with everything from cd players to mattresses including children's bikes-an interesting mix to say the least) so I popped in to investigate internet options. Luckily, the friendly owner of the store-Peter- recognized me as the backpacker from the roadhouse and knew just what I needed. Drumroll....pay as you go internet. Now all I have to do is plug in the little USB thingy, top up money on my account, and then voila...instant internet. Granted, both the USB device and the service are rather expensive, but I know it's more than worth it. I was really starting to be depressed from the contact deprivation of all my wonderful friends and family. When your friends and family are your life, you just can't live like that. So problem solved. Yay! Now you will be getting, hopefully, fairly often updates on the exciting world of yours truly living in an Australian bush town of 300 people. I hope I find something to write about....

Uhhh...Say What?

So here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, doing a little correspondence/cyber catch-up with life outside small-time Oz when a disturbing discovery arises: I have a little international news going in the background via the fifty inch tv where I'm currently residing (yep. a fifty inch t.v. they have-but no air conditioner. I mean, come on), and a statement one of those crazy accented newscasters utters grabs my attention. Ahem- "The vatican celebrated International Women's Day today citing the washing machine as the ultimate liberator for women." 

Say What? 

I whipped my head around, intent to check that I had actually heard correctly-I mean, maybe I'm just imagining things. I have just worked three days of eight hour shifts waking up by 5am, and perhaps I've gone a little soft in the head consequently. Nope. This was the actual new story. Well, being the skeptical little bunny i am (you KNOW you can't believe everything you see on TV right?) I pulled up google to do a little research. Here are my findings:

-A recent article in recognition of International Women's Day in the official Vatican newspaper, Osservatore Romano made the claim, stating that the appliance had played "the most part in the emancipation of Western women in the twentieth century."

-"The washing machine and the emancipation of women: put in the powder, close the lid and relax" 

-Headline of the Article in Osservatore Romano (the OFFICIAL daily newspaper of the Vatican)

You have GOT to be kidding me. Of all the advancements made in the last century (we're talking women's suffrage, equal rights act, entering the workforce, legal rights within marriage, rise of women's higher education),how can one of the most influential entities in the world, not to mention one that I immensely respect being a catholic myself, make such an ignorant statement? I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt, but the evidence is pretty damning. Let's just hope this is a slight miscommunication, or perhaps more a personal opinion of the writer than a stance by the Vatican. However, I'm still appalled of its appearance in their official media source to the public. Let's just hope this isn't an insight into their actual beliefs. 

On a side, yet slightly related note, today is ALSO Barbara Millicent Robert's 50th Birthday. Yep Barbie is 50. In case you were wondering, the old girl was born in Willow Wisconsin, a full two years before Ken. Although I wouldn't exactly link her with women's emancipation, I do have fond memories of Babs growing up. So Happy Birthday Barbie....here's to the next 50. 

Just a few bips and bops...

'I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder'-Men at Work

OK. I don't COME from a land down under, but I AM living there at the time being. In addition to currently appreciating Men at Work and their painfully catchy lyrics, I am now a Woman at Work.....

I have now officially been in Alpha, Queensland (my home for the next three months) for a week and so far I've helped to paint a house, woken up at 5am three mornings in a row, been on the losing end of an epic battle with the mozzies (that's mosquitos for you yanks-I have to apply copious amounts of 'bush perfume'-repellent-to try and fend them off), and sweated more profusely than I ever thought possible. Ah the life of luxury. After a brief training period in the ways of the 'chew and spew' (roadhouse-lovely play on words I must say) I completed my first shift today-it must be official because they gave me a key and everything. What does this mean? I start working a 9 day rotation: 3 mornings 6am-2pm (I started that today), then three nights 2pm-10pm, and finally the blessed three days off. 1 shift down, 5 more to go until I get to paint the town (AKA sleep). 

Anyhow, I'm going to wait to tell you more about my new residence after I get some visuals uploaded so stay tuned for that. For now, I thought I'd just share a few of my pictures and thoughts so far on the land down under:

1. Visiting Rockhamton-the beef capital of Australia-is like entering a time warp. Honestly. It's as though the city went through an industrialization period in the 60s, set up shop, and then thought 'eh. this is good enough for the next fifty years.' Seriously. I'm pretty sure not even a brush of paint has touched some of these buildings in that time period. But let's not be hasty. The hairdressers had looked like it had an upgrade-think Steel Magnolias and you get the picture.

2. I ate kangaroo. I know, I know. That was my reaction at first to, but I gave into curiosity, and let me tell you it was pretty darn good. A bit similar to venison; apparently it's also very nutritious so there you go. Sold.

3. I also ate crocodile. However I did not feel quite so guilty about that one. Those things are vicious. I bit like a cross between chicken and fish if you're wondering. Not as tasty as the cute one. Go figure.

4. Did you know saltwater crocs have hardly changed in 200 million years? Talk about consistency. We're talking age of the dinosaur style. Now that's what I call a survivor.

5. I have mastered the 'bush salute': the very technical and graceful manner of flapping your arms around your head to ward of the constant stream of flies/moths/mosquitos buzzing towards every possible entry into your body via face. Blech.

6. These Aussies come up with the craziest, most awesome names ever that are oh so much fun to say: Wooloomooloo (8 'o's in one name-that's inventive), Wagga Wagga, Boomahnoomoonah, Burrumbuttock, Toowoomba, and Tittybong (that's my personal favorite)

-note that most of these come from the Aboriginal influence so there you go. Culture.

7. Australia has snakes 50x more lethal than the cobra. And that's not even their most dangerous animal. 

8. The mars bar. For some reason this has always fascinated me since I always heard about it yet never really knew what it was. It's an American milky way. Kind of a let down really. Apparently a milky way here would be a three musketeer to us. So confusing. What ever happened to a little uniformity? Side note: The first Harry Potter book also has a separate American name-Instead of 'The Sorcerer's Stone' it is known to the rest of the world as 'The Philosopher's Stone.' It was renamed because publishers thought Americans wouldn't understand what a philosopher was. See what they think of us? Gah. 

Well that is all I have for now. You can check out a few sights I've seen as I've been a-wandering (I know. It rhymes. I'm a dork) through my pics link. My computer is being stupid and not letting me load up straight onto the blog for some reason. Oh the joys of technology....

Our little "Adventure"

I know I haven't really been able to post too much lately, so I thought I'd give just a little snippet from our time at the beach town of Agnes Water. Please enjoy this lengthy, verbose rendition of a little escapade we experienced....

A few days ago, after a few days of lazy relaxation at our current hostel located somewhere along the eastern coast-north of brisbane, south of rockhampton is all I know- reading books, swinging in hammocks, watching movies, taking naps, well you get the picture, Chris and I decided to actually be productive, take a shuttle into town, and try out a free kite-surfing lesson on the beach. Sounds like good, simple fun-right? Yeah. I thought so too.

Well it all started out well. We woke up in time, had a nice free breakfast of cereal (which I upgraded with a banana I bought at the market-cha-ching!) and read for an hour before our shuttle was set to depart at 10. We were supposed to meet up with a girl we had met to find out where the lessons were. Unfortunately the first shuttle was full so she didn't make it on. Now here's our error. We decided once dropped off at town we would make our own way down to the beach and scout it out ourselves. Hmmm.

So here we are...fresh and ready after a good nights sleep, well lotioned up with sunblock protection, armed with our towels, a bottle of water, and sunblock reserves we start our way down the street in a direction we think the beach just might be. At this point we're feeling good. The sun is beating down but in a soft, warming, comforting way and we spot a sign proclaiming "public beach access here". Success! We make our way down the footpath and step onto the beach. Not bad-not as pretty as the beach from the weekend before but water and sand nonetheless. However, it's not a very busy beach. There are no flags staking claim where you may safely enter the water without fear of being attacked by jelly box fish or bluebottles or stingrays (seriously, the ocean is freaking dangerous) and we see no sign of promised surf lessons/kite surfing lessons/ect. in the vicinity. Surely we are in the wrong place? So here's our plan...walk down the beach to the turn and see what's around the bend. Maybe the beach of our dreams is just around the corner waiting to be found. Also, we figure this is our way into the small town of 1770 which we would like to see. We congratulate ourselves on our plan and start to make our way hand in hand down the picturesque walk....

Cut to twenty minutes later: at this point we're still feeling rather optimistic...the sand is cool under our toes, the waves are gently tickling our feet, enjoying a little sun and surf as it were. However, that bend that we're heading to does not seem to be getting much closer....

Another twenty minutes elapse: That 'warm and comforting sun' is evolving into a more uncomfortable presence-beating down, reflecting off the water, and stinging my neck, shoulders, arms and even feet; at the same time I'm really starting to 'glisten' which is a nicer way of putting 'sweating like a pig'. I decide to lather up with another round of sunblock. Bugger. That slimy white lotion is just sliding off my sweaty body....

30 minutes later: I'm really gettting a bit nervous....that 'bend' in the beach looks more like a rock fall off and the 'building tops' I imagined at the top of the hill are trees. Oh yeah, and the sand is like fire burning my feet as I continually sink in only to push back out again and repeat. It's like being on a freaking stair stepper. In crazy, sweat inducing, oxygen sucking weather. And lava sand....

After yet another 15 minutes we've reached the end of the beach. Our choices? To hike over the hilly terrain to our left, turn back for a two hour return walk on the now seemingly treacherous beach, or dive into rock infested waters, which I'm pretty sure is the least worrisome type of infestation that we would encounter in doing so. Sigh. Bring it on hill....

So after an 'invigorating' thirty minute hike over the hill, hopping a couple of fences, trudging down a couple of roads, and harassing a few strangers for directions we finally reach the Town of 1770, grab two beers, order some much needed food, and collapse in the shade sweaty and, in my case, sunburnt to a crisp. Hooray adventure (I hope you can sense the sarcasm through the text).

And do you want to know the real kicker? Later that evening we ran into the girl we were supposed to meet up with only to be informed that she had seen us walking down that very same beach at the beginning of our travels, tried to wave us down, and finally gave up. Yep. We were in the right place all along. I'm sure this will be funny in a couple of days. Or months. Or years. Or maybe just when this gosh awful worst sunburn of my life finally subsides. Did you know that after suffering from raw skin for a couple of days, the sunburned areas can actually swell up making one of your feet feel sprained and your forehead look like an alien only to spring up millions of tiny blisters once the swelling subsides and eventually turn into flaky bits of your skin falling off revealing raw, splotchy, disolored skin? Well it does. Needless to say, no pictures with me in them for awhile...

Hope everyone is living sunburn free....I miss you!

Quick update...

Hey all!
Just wanted to quickly update you on what's going on while I have a chance (not sure when I'll have internet access again):

I don't have much time so I'll keep it short and sweet:

• Spent the weekend at a friend's rental unit of the beach so...I saw the ocean! Not my first time to see the ocean but exciting nonetheless. Especially since it was storming. Beautiful and majestic is a cheesy but true way to put it. Took tons of pictures that of course I can't post yet. Look forward to photo overload once I can post from my own computer. Sigh.
• I got a job! Woohoo! So here's the deal- I'll be working at a 'roadhouse' (which apparently means service station) in the outback in a town called Alpha, population 300. No, I am not kidding. It's only for three months though and I figure it will be a good way to save money and have a true Aussie outback experience. The job starts March 1st so until then we'll be...
• Spending some time in the Town of 1770. We leave today on an 11 hour bus ride to get to this sleepy beachy resort town that Chris has quite the nostalgia for. Not looking forward to the long bus ride though. Oh the life of a nomad.
• Finally, I've been sick. Of course. How come every time I leave the country I come down with some ailment? It was mostly chesty cough/slight fever/throat ache/headache/stuffy nose business but I believe I'm almost recovered. Just been pretty sleepy but I figure it gives my body time to recover. Unfortunately now I have a whiny sick boyfriend to deal with.

Well I guess that's all the vitally important info I need to impart. I hope my next post will be sooner than later so I can tell you more. Love you guys!

Welcome to the Wonderful Land of Oz....

I'VE ARRIVED!
Well not in the 'I've arrived as a powerful woman in this world making my own independent way to glorious fortune and fame' but I HAVE physically arrived in Australia! Hoorah! Unfortunately this Texas girl was not ready for the heat and humidity (go figure-what the crap is wrong with me? I've gone soft since leaving Austin apparently) and it feels sweltering to me here. Anywho...here are a few highlights from my trip so far:
[DISCLAIMER: I'm typing this blog on a paid internet computer so unfortunately no pics yet-though of course I already have like a hundred-such a camera nazi]

The Plane Ride(s)
So believe it or not, traveling for over a thirty hour time period is never very fun, but we did make the best of it. Did you know the STRAIGHT LINE distance between Amarillo and Brisbane is over 8,000 miles and let me tell ya we DEFINATELY did not travel in a straight line- Amarillo to Vegas, Vegas to L.A., L.A. to Auckland (New Zealand) and Auckland to Brisbane. Whew! A few interesting things did happen along the way: I SLEPT ON THE PLANE! Yep. A full two hours. Nice. Also, have you ever thought about someone living a Parallel Life to your own? I never really had before, but I think I met the girl who is living mine: 23 year old female from Texas, graduated from A&M, moved abroad to New Zealand, met a Kiwi (that's what those crazy New Zealanders are called), he came to visit her in Texas a couple of weeks ago, and they are about to move to Australia together for a year. Crazy right? And I sat next to this girl on the plane...what are the odds? Anyway, something to think about.

A day in the life of a Traveler
So we've only been in Brisbane a little over 24 hours, but here's a quick breakdown of what I've experienced:
6:56 am (12:56pm Texas time) Our plane touches down on Australian soil and we are T-I-R-E-D. I think Chris slept even less than me on the plane.
7:30am Collect our baggage and make it part-way through customs. Unfortunately we have a slight detour when Chris has to declare his rugby boots because they have foreign soil on them.
8:ooam They let us in the country..yay! I was a bit worried about this since I don't TECHNICALLY have enough money according to the visa specifications but no one asked any questions so I didn't offer the information. duh. I exchange about $500 American dollars, and I'm feeling pretty good at this point since I get about $800 Australian dollars in return. That is until I discover they have quite a bit of inflation here....$3.oo for some yogurt. From the grocery store. I mean honestly.
8:05am EEK! We realize we aren't sure how to get from the airport to the hostel we picked out. Information Kiosk anywhere? Oh good...there it is!
8:08am Successfully purchase bus tickets into Brisbane and look up hostel on map...short walk from bus station. Good.
9:52am One sticky bus ride, a grumpy bus driver, 4 block walk (WITH 100lbs of luggage), and a few direction inquiries later we've made it the hostel. Oh. This place does NOT look too encouraging.
10:15am Cloud 9. That's the name of our hostel. Yeah. Maybe if they had clouds in HELL. Ugh. I don't know if I've just gotten lucky in the past, but all the hostels I've stayed at before have been pretty nice, more like the Marriot when compared to this place. Chris DID pick it out, but I'm not pointing any fingers. It's just my idea of comfort is not staying in the "nicer" of rooms they offer (since that is all that is conveniently available) with 6 other people (three of which we find out are crazy Swedes who stay out late, come home and yack away for hours in foreign languages) in a dirty room, with a tiny bathroom that I won't even use (it's bad when you WANT to find a public restroom to use) that is supposedly air conditioned. Oh well. All part of the adventure right? I wonder if this is where old travelers who don't have a will to live anymore come to die...I should enquire at the front desk.
10:45am Feeling slightly more sane. Have showered (with my eyes closed-I DO NOT want to see what is in this bathroom) and changed into fresh clothes. At least the hole of hostel serves a purpose-we want to find jobs ASAP to get out of this place.
11:55pm After using the $4 an hour internet service next door, we feel highly discouraged. The fruit of our frantic job searching labour is two shaky leads. We proceed to sort out phones and grab some fruit at the grocer before stopping into a Backpackers travel/job finder place.
3:40pm Walk out of Travellers at Work (the name of backpacker place) $145 lighter. Argh. Been convinced I should pay 100 Australian dollars for joining an online job service finder for the next year and $45 for a permanent mailing address service. Chris is all gung-ho but I just hate spending my money on that. I guess it IS an investment, and we definately weren't successful searching online by ourselves. Cross your fingers this works out....
5:00pm Well in need of a couple of drinks, we decide to spend some of our precious cash on a few ciders at a backpackers pub. MMMM...nice and crisp.
6:15pm Feeling significantly more relaxed but also significantly HUNGRY. The last real meal we had was on the plane more than 12 hours ago. We decide to forgo cooking in the kitchen at the hostel (personally, I don't think food should be allowed anywhere near that place), we pop into subway for a sandwhich.
7:00pm Drag our feet back to the hostel climb into bed and have blissful sleep until those crazy Swedes get back from their partying. Thanks goodness for headphones and Coldplay to sing me back to sleep.

Well that was our first day-kinda depressing huh? Oh well, I'm feeling much more optimistic today. It's only noon, but we've already walked all around central Brisbane, through some beautiful botanic gardens, along the river, through famous shopping on Queen St., and now we're back to work searching for jobs at TAW. Right now we're thinking about finding jobs out of Perth and driving across the outback in a rented camper van to get to the West coast. Man I love adventures....