Job Searching Hell

I have just returned from what is possibly my idea of hell- attempting to sell a product that I don't care about to poor unsuspecting people with no initial interest. Yes, today was part two of my Sales Representative interview process for a paintball company here in Melbourne. I wish I could tell you I was kidding. Things are getting pretty desperate (obviously if I'm willing to walk around bugging people to earn a buck). So here's the story of how I ended up in a southeast suburb of Melbourne, walking into office parks uninvited, and attempting to hawk discounted paintball tickets:

After sending out a bazillion (approximately) resumes/applications to every online job website I could find and failing to receive any answers to my desperate plea for employment, my can-do attitude began to falter. To make things worse, my application to McDonalds was rejected. Talk about kicking a girl when she's down. The same establishment that hires non English speakers and 16 year olds deemed me incapable of employment. Thank you big yellow M. English speaking non teenagers need jobs too. Needless to say, my mindset for choosing potential jobs has changed-apply for everything and take whatever you get. It was this mindset that got me to agree to attend an interview for a commissions based entry level sales position at the largest paintball company in Australia.

Luckily Chris, who also applied for the position, was asked to come in for an interview as well. I say luckily, but I'm pretty sure that every single person who sent in an application was asked in. They aren't exactly discriminating. The first interview was easy enough-too easy really. We went in one by one and chatted with the owner for a few minutes so he could judge if our personality was 'right' for the job. Both Chris and I were deemed worthy and asked to return for the second part of the interview the next morning with the sales managers. At this point, I'm feeling okay. I won't like it, but I could be one of those annoying people in malls bothering shoppers to try and hook them on a sale. What harm could it do to give it a try?

The next morning we woke up bright and early, put on our business 'look how professional I am' interview clothes, caught the train, and once again made our way to the paintball headquarters. After waiting half an hour, each person was assigned to a sales manager to shadow for the morning. Thankfully, there were 5 candidates and only 4 managers so Chris and I were put together. Thank goodness I don't have to face this alone. We were informed we were heading to prospective businesses to make sales. I imagined going into an interested company to set up corporate training days with a fun twist. Boy was I wrong.

One car ride and a few minutes later, Chris and I find ourselves in the middle of an industrial area surrounded by business parks accompanied by our sales manager Russ-an eager man in his early thirties with a scraggly beard, a World Series Paintball vest, and a canvas tote filled with discount tickets costing $64 a pop. As he chain smokes, he gives a brief debriefing on how the sales work. It's at this point I realize we are about to walk into random businesses who have no idea of our existance and try to sell them crap they probably don't want. I turn out to be wrong about one thing-they do know who we are, and they aren't happy to see us.

As we walk into door after door with blatant 'No Hawkers' signs posted to the front, I start to become super uncomfortable. As we are turned away time and time again, I begin to strategically hide behind Chris' large frame upon entering so I don't have to show my face. Every once and awhile the annoyed 'sales target' would catch my eye while listening to the enthusiastic pitch, and I would silently mouth 'I am so sorry' behind our trainers' back. Needless to say, this is not the job for me. Don't get me wrong, our trainer was good at what he did-his strategy was to see as many people as possible in the hopes of finding those few who did actually care about what he was selling. He would brazenly walk into open warehouses, push his way into secure doors, and do whatever he could to ask one more person if they liked to paintball. And it worked-he sold three tickets earning about $100 before lunch. After eating, he asked how I would see myself fitting in. I could have lied, forced myself to do something so against my nature in order to earn a few bucks, but I just couldn't. Even though I need a job in a big way, that would make me miserable. So I told him the truth, thanked him for his time, and walked away with not much but my dignity.

So there it is. I will never make it in life as an aggressive sales rep. Thankfully I have one more interview to go tonight. I'm pretty sure I'm in way over my head, but I let you know more about that in my next post....