And now for the OTHER side of the story....

So after playing a supporting, often comedic, role in my adventures related via blog thus far, my charming boyfriend is ready to grab the spotlight. Read on for the once in a lifetime chance (honestly-I'm pretty sure I won't be able to convince him to post again) to hear Chris' side of the story. Enjoy the guest blog folks!

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Typing with a gun pressed against your head can be very distracting, but apparently this guest blog is very important to Shivonne. Now I'm not to sure what to write because you've heard all the stories from Shivonne, but that is where my idea came from. Now it's come to my attention that I have been commonly used as comic relief in her writing. For example, my mutton chops looked awesome. For goodness sakes even Wolverine has them (*typers note: Chris originally said 'for Christ's sake' but decided to change his wording as not to 'offend the good, God-fearing, respectable Texas folk). Now some of you might think due to Shivonne's biased and jaded blogs that I am a KFC guzzling, movie addicted, impulse buying, facial hair sporting eccentric. This is simply not true. I much prefer Hungry Jacks (that's what they call Burger King over here).

Now what has been seriously misrepresented is Shivonne's own enjoyment in these apparently disparaging activities. Recently she has been frequenting fast food joints more often than myself. Admittedly this is only for light snack relief. Her own facial hair has become quite impressive-only kidding. It's just a mustache. Hahahaha. See? I can write comically as well. As far as movies are concerned, I admit that I have slight issues. However, I didn't have to exactly drag her by the hair for our 6 hour movie fest in Rockhampton. Unfortutely that experience was the site of a very serious revelation: we are now old. How annoying are those young upstart whippersnappers who talk through the movie? And who the hell doesn't know what Star Trek is? One idiot girl asked if Captain Tiberius Kirk was Luke Skywalker. Luckily I had Shivonne to hold me back before doing serious damage with a straw and my supply of M&Ms.

After all this excitement and binging, we finally arrived in Melbourne. This was after four hour of me pointing out the bag size of other airport travels and complaining that I had been unfairly victimized by the check in lady at the Jetstar travel desk who had just suffered a major sense of humour failure. The salt was pushed deep into the wound by the woman's ability to overlook the huge massiveness of Shivonne's blairingly bright gold hold all she pretends is a carry-on piece of luggage. I was outraged the bag wasn't screened to make sure this Texan wasn't smuggling a tiny immigrant in that thing. Luckily I wasn't picked up as a terrorist and we arrived in Melbourne with a relatively uneventful plane ride.

The next section is a description of some of the nicest things ever done for me by a human being/ish. Now we had not been in the city for more than a day when my birthday arrived. I was turning 23 and 12 months. Shivonne, my beautiful girlfriend, had planned a whole day of activities for us with the precision of a WWII general. This is especially impressive because she managed to do this firstly without me knowing, and secondly without ever being to Melbourne before. First stop was the Melbourne Gaol; this was an inspired choice from Shivonne who knows I have a cultural interest in museums, art, and stuff but a limited time span in which I enjoy it. She cunningly combined culture, history, and a vicious judicial system. Perfect. Second stop was back across town to City Hatters. Now Shivonne's was a bit put out by this part because of my psychic ability to guess what we were going to do. Apparently, she had been planning to buy me a hat ever since I landed in Texas way back in January. She'd done a masterful of job of suppressing my spontaneous desire to buy hats thus far. All this with the aim of taking me to City Hatters to get the hat of hats: Akubra. Oh yeah. This is the Australian outback hat to have. It's made of real rabbit fur so you know it's good. Now after convincing me not to wear the hat in the city, we perambulated back to the top of the city for the most kick ass part of the day-Night of the Museum II on the seven story high screen at the IMAX IMAX IMAX IMAX. The pleasure of this trip was heightened but being able to squash Shivonne's sense of superiority of being the only one knowing where we were going for once that day. After reluctantly handing over the map for me to help with directions to the Melbourne Museum, she threw an offhand comment 'you'll never be able to figure out what we're going to do' with a sneer included. At this moment I had an epiphany- I remembered reading the Imax was in the Melbourne Museum. After mentioning this the disspointment on her face was so tasty I couldn't have eaten any more. To close off the night, we went for a very romantic, very tasty (though not as tasty as aforementioned dissapointment) meal with my amazing girlfriend (that's Shivonne in case you were wondering).

Now you've all read about Shivonne an my jobsearch hunts. These finally resulted in firstly complete disbelief that neither of us are McDonald's material. The second result was my job as a sales promoter at World Series Paintball which has actually turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought it would be. For example, my first week's paycheck financed a helicopter purchase. Not bad for a salesman. Unfortunately it was of the remote controlled persuasion. Yes Mom, I know it's a waste of money as Shivonne's already informed me, but if I didn't do silly and stupid things, you'd having nothing to complain about. So in fact, you could argue I bought it for you. You are welcome. Last Friday was the end of my first two weeks and I decided to go for the notorious after work drinks with the lads and lasses. Shivonne was kind enough to grace the event thank God. I'll take the opportunity here to mention I utilize my girlfriend as my own personal banker for cash deposits. Luckily I handed over the bulk of my earnings before I had the opportunity to spend my whole week's wages on alcohol. As a result I ended up only incredibly drunk as opposed to very incredibly drunk. Again, yes Mom I know-a waste of money. But hey-what's a girl to do?

Today I am off to Perth for a two week business trip. I feel so grown up. The downside of this amazing opportunity is I will not get to see my Shivonne (yes my) for nearly five weeks as she's heading back to Texas before the trip ends. I almost wish I wasn't going, but I know she'll be taken care of and if she isn't, I know where you live. Texas isn't it?

Now signing off....I have been Chris and you've been fantastic.