My Quarter Life Crisis

The summer after my senior year of high school, I went through a period where I listened to the John Mayer Room for Squares album on repeat for hours at a time, and for some reason one song really stuck with me. The title is 'Why Georgia' but a distinct phrase stands out in my mind from all the other lyrics: "It might be a quarter life crisis, just a stirrin' in my soul." At the time, I thought it was so odd-all I'd really heard about before was the dreaded mid-life crisis complete with sportcar driving, toupe wearing, breast implanting, younger dating self-concious crazies.
However, at this point in my life, I feel this phrase is the definition of my life. Let me elaborate.

1. I'm a (nearly) 23 year old woman living at home with her parents and working at her high school job....as a waitress.
2. I have no prospects for my career and no motivation to pursue even the imaginary ones in the distance.
3. I have wonderful friends and family accomplishing awesome things: getting married, starting new jobs, going back to school, basically living life. Everyone around seems to be moving on and I just feel like I'm...standing still.
4. The man I love lives thousands of miles and an ocean away.
5. Scotland hates me. Ok. that might be a bit harsh, but my visa was refused. Therefore, the whole life I started 6 months ago is now discontinued.
And Finally
- I'm freaking out about gettting old-
I know I know. This one sounds so superficial, but it is a legitimate concern (at least to me). Since I've gone back to work at Malcolms, my co-workers are generally comprised of girls aged 17-21. The other day, one such girl was saying how she wanted to 'live life' before settling down and having kids and promptly cited 23 as the appropriate age. Gah. On her life plan, I'd be having babies within the next month. Then, when one of the cooks asked me how old I was turning this coming month, his reply to my answer of 23 was "Oh. I thought you were older." I mean really? Really. And I know it seems absurd, I know when I'm thirty I'll look back and think my 20 something self was crazy, but I can't help how I feel. And y'all know how compuslive my thinking can get...for instance I've been slathering on sunscreen just to walk outside and pick up the mail and have been researching anti-aging skin products like crazy. I had to literally stop and do a reality check before spending nearly $40 on wrinkle cream the other day. You only think I'm kidding...

Whew! So glad to get that ranting off my chest. Now that I've had a moment to vent all that crazy that's been bottled up for the past month or so, hopefully I can be more reasonable. Let's just call that my 'con' list and, thankfully, I have quite a few pros to counteract it:
1. I have the most supportive parents ever. Not only do they let me live at home for free, but I get fed regularly AND my Mom does my laundry. Pretty much the coolest thing ever. Also, I get to spend time with my baby brother whom I haven't lived with since he was 6. We've been bonding over guitar hero and The Office. Luckily, he has good taste.
2. I have a good, flexible job that lets me work as much as I want and I've met some fun girls to hang out with while I'm here. We're even having a BBQ this weekend-probably the first social event I've attended since my sisters wedding. I know. I'm a workaholic.
3. My friends are AWESOME. They call to check on me, they let me vent, they cheer me up. Seriously don't know what I'd do without you guys.
4. I have a back up plan and a goal I'm working toward:
Since the whole Scotland thing didn't work out, my next plan of action is to set my sights on a country that WILL let me in without illegal endeavors-Australia. Now, this is an expensive move-I need to save about oh $6500 to finance my visa, plane ticket, and initial living cost. But there are some definate perks-by the time I've saved enough money (say December-ish) it will be snowing here and I'll be off to sandy beaches for an Australian summer, Australian accents are really cool, I'll have the chance to live on yet another continent, I'll get to say 'no worries mate' as many times a day as I like, and I'll get to (finally) see my boyfriend again who plans on moving down under as well (thank goodness I met someone who likes to travel as much as me).
So all in all, once I let my rational side creep up and do some serious soul searching, I really don't have it bad at all. It's just he waiting and uncertainty that is so difficult. Now if I just didn't feel so darn old, I'd have it made in the shade...