I've become complacent.

Mentally, physically, spiritually complacent. And I don't like it. Not one bit.

Did you know a synonym for complacent is contented? But that's the problem-I don't feel contented at all. Don't get me wrong, I love my traveling, and I'm very proud that I've accomplished my goal in that sense; but in the here and now, I'm frustrated with myself falling prey to the monotony of day to day life. I can feel it eating at me, yet I do nothing about it. Lately my life has been an endless continuum of work, eat, sleep, TV, and, if I'm lucky, the occasional book. I can feel it affecting me-I'm irritable, lethargic, and uninspired. And it's my fault. Here I am in a new environment surrounded by wonderful and interesting people and I just can't kick my rear in gear. I find myself vegging out in front of the television instead of picking up a book. I used to enjoy being active and working out nearly every day (well sometimes not enjoy if I'm being totally honest, but I always felt better after. I mean-who actually ENJOYS lunges? Honestly.) and I can't remember the last time I did any physical activity than bike up to work a whole two blocks. I eat crappy food and not surprisingly I feel like crap. The worst part is my spiritual life. It's so easy to become complacent with your faith when it's not convenient. I hate that I'm doing that. I know my relationship with God is suffering, and for some reason I just can't become motivated. How horrible is that? I know it's a daily struggle, but lately I find myself always on the losing side. I guess what I'm trying to say is I need help. Mostly from myself, but also from you if you have a moment to put me in your prayers today.  If there's one thing I can be grateful for it's the amazing people in my life. 

Script Edit...

Oh my goodness. After re-reading my last post, I realized I needed to rectify an omission I made. Two omissions, actually, in my cast of characters. Through some brain fart I seem to have suffered, I unfortunately forgot to include two of the most interesting players of all. My sincerest apologies. So with no further ado, here they are in all their glory.....

Wendy- Tasmanian born women estimated to be in her late fifties, Wendy is, in a word, a character. She is employed as a cafe worker, and lives in her caravan next door to SHIVONNE, JAMES, and CHRIS at the staff house. Always on the go with her faithful dog Tommy in tow, Wendy enjoys finishing work by 2pm to make it home in time for her 3 o'clock cocktail. The locals love her, her coworkers love her, and she only becomes slightly more animated with the aid of a few drinks. She graciously lends SHIVONNE her bicycle for transport while she employs the most awesome blue scooter with matching blue helmet for her personal use. SHIVONNE is extremely jealous.

Jackie-An elderly woman with a dry sense of humor, Jackie makes her way up to the Gateway at least once, if not twice, a day to purchase her most habitual if not favorite vice-her beloved 'smokes'-Pall Mall Slims. When asked what's going on in her life, she proceeds to relate everything she's seen on TV in the past night. Additionally, she harbors a not so secret crush on CHRIS whom she has referred to more than once as a hunk (to his girlfriend nonetheless). She loves chatting to everyone, except perhaps her neighbor whom she avoids because the 'old lady may be lonesome, but it's not my problem. She's boring.'

"Where are you...???? I'm in a glass case of emotion!"

Well, not really. But I've just watched Anchor Man and now I've got all sorts of distracting phrases flying threw my head. Ahem:"Veronica and I are trying this new fad called 'jogging'- or perhaps is 'yogging' with a soft j. Apparently you just run for an extended period of time-it's supposed to be wild."

Ok. Enough of that. I'm just going to start off by saying "You know how to cut to the core of me Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair." Sorry. Last one. I promise. 

Although I'm not in a 'glass case of emotion' per say, I am in a little place called Alpha, and granted it's not quite as exciting as a Will Ferrell flick, I suppose it's about time I told everyone a little bit about the town, my job, and the people around me. To make my current life and situation appear more exciting than it actually is, I've decided to present the information in the form of a movie script or, more accurately, what I believe a movie script looks like: 

A Gateway to Western Outback Australia

The Story of a Roadhouse

Cast of Characters

Glenda Henry-Part owner of Roadhouse. Entrepreneur and full time business woman-owns three companies in various cities and numerous real estate investments; consequently only visits Alpha perhaps two or three times a month. Although hardly present, she holds a particular view of how the Gateway should run on a day to day basis which conflicts with the opinions of many of her employees.

Collin Valler-Part owner of Roadhouse, lover to GLENDA. Though owner, operates more as a handyman dealing with construction projects and day to day running of the roadhouse. Interesting mix of personality traits: one minute good humored joking, the next frustration when you don't read his mind and innately discern what he wants to be completed.  Rumored to hinder financial gain of roadhouse by buying expensive 'toys' (AKA fancy tools) and borrowing 'petty cash' for personal use from safe.

Deion-Recently arrived New Zealander charged with newly instated post of manager to the roadhouse. Talkative, jovial, and hard working man 40 years of age, he is well liked. Resents GLENDA and COLLIN for interfering with his duties and preventing him for doing the job for which he was hired-day to day management of the business.

Narelle-Runs cafe adjoined to roadhouse in addition to administrative duties. Wife of DEION, although not a KIWI (New Zealander) but an Australian born woman of 28. Together they have five children ranging ages 1 to 13: the four oldest from previous marriages and the youngest, CHARLIE, being a result of their union.  

Charlie Marie-Daughter of DEION and NARELLE age one. Adventurer, trouble maker, and all around cutie pie. This rambunctious tot, whose recent achievements include learning to walk, is well known for falling down stairs and harassing pets.

Tanya-One of three customer attendants currently employed at the roadhouse, TANYA is a local woman in her late thirties/early forties and is the longest standing employee at three years. Friendly and accustomed to the job, she performs tasks she feels are necessary avoiding doing anymore than she absolutely has to.

James-English traveler in his late 20s, JAMES is a carpenter by trade. This is-to his dismay- his second stint in Alpha working closely with COLLIN on numerous projects at the company's behest. Quiet and reserved, this man from Birmingham retires from work generally to cook dinner, have a beer, watch a bit of TV, and head to bed. His plan is to save as much money as possible in the next 6 weeks before traveling Australia with his father.

Chris-Half English/half Malaysian backpacker in his early twenties and employed as a customer attendant. Tall, dark, handsome, and incredibly goofy, CHRIS is solely working in Alpha to save money for his travels. When not working, he is most likely to be found playing the computer game Medieval War II 

Shivonne-Adventurous Texas nomad age 23 traveling with her boyfriend CHRIS. Also employed as a customer attendant but frustrated with the monotony of the job. Looking forward to continuing her travels through the great country of Australia as soon as she has saved enough money.

Time

Present Day. Southern Hemisphere Autumn. Spanning the months from March through May.

Setting

Small town Australia in central Queensland-on the eastern edge of the infamous outback. The worn roadhouse sits along the well known Capricorn Highway which makes it way from the east coast starting at Rockhampton and plunges through the heart of the outback situated on it's namesake, the Tropic of Capricorn. The roadhouse hosts customers ranging from the daily locals (whom can be friendly, though slightly eccentric) to the frequent travelers-both international and domestic, from lonely truck drivers to energetic families. The counter is attended by only one worker at a time, making the job a solitary and often lonesome one.

To see how the play unfolds, you'll have to keep reading! (Don't worry, I promise not to play this in script format from now on :)

Yes, I'm still alive...

Okay. So you knew it would happen-am I right? I have a nasty tendency to fall off the face of the earth- I out of the blue stop blogging/facebooking/emailing/phoning/post card sending/etc. However, before you get your panties in a twist, note that this time I have a valid excuse. I live in OUTBACK AUSTRALIA people. Turns out, it's kind of remote. Go figure. After my first week here, my internet source was cut off, our multiple sim cards under numerous networks are, of course, the wrong ones for this rural area so I have no phone contact (not to mention the pay phones here only take phone cards which they don't sell in town-whole hell of a lot help huh?) Luckily I got a wake up call from my sluggish correspondence existence about a week ago; unluckily it was in the form of a frantic transcontinental call from my very worried parents. Note to self: when traveling as a young woman in a foreign country on the other side of the world, your parents MIGHT want to be updated at least every couple of weeks, or at the very least have your contact information. Oops. Imagine my surprise when in the middle of my morning shift last week the phone rings at work and, after answering in my normal fashion-"Alpha Gateway, Shivonne speaking"-I hear my father's voice on the other end-"Why haven't you called us?" Oh crap. Let me tell you the surprise knocked me off my feet-I dropped into a chair and actually teared up. It's funny how homesickness can hit you all at once from just a small trigger. After mitigating my family's fears of any bodily/mental harm that could of befallen me on my travels so far, I had to say a quick I love you and hang up. Pretty much sucked. Anyway, moral of the story, the call from home kicked my rear in gear and I was determined to find a way to communicate out here in the bush. But what to do?

Success! I asked around and found out that Alpha has an 'electronics store' (I have to use that term loosely; by store I mean large shed stuffed with everything from cd players to mattresses including children's bikes-an interesting mix to say the least) so I popped in to investigate internet options. Luckily, the friendly owner of the store-Peter- recognized me as the backpacker from the roadhouse and knew just what I needed. Drumroll....pay as you go internet. Now all I have to do is plug in the little USB thingy, top up money on my account, and then voila...instant internet. Granted, both the USB device and the service are rather expensive, but I know it's more than worth it. I was really starting to be depressed from the contact deprivation of all my wonderful friends and family. When your friends and family are your life, you just can't live like that. So problem solved. Yay! Now you will be getting, hopefully, fairly often updates on the exciting world of yours truly living in an Australian bush town of 300 people. I hope I find something to write about....