This Week

So I've been sitting here reading over all y'alls' blog comments (which I do an embarassing number of times a day-what can I say? I miss ya!), and I realized my most recent blog was about my day off last week and my off day is tomorrow. Yes my friend, I have neglected my blogging duties this entire work week. I sincerely apologize; I know each and every one of you eagerly check my site multiple times a day, sitting on the edge of your seat, hoping, wishing, praying I have posted yet another enlightening, witty, mind blowing observation on my life only to be disappointed when the same old thing loads onto the screen (well, I might be exaggerating a teeny itsy bit, but don't burst my bubble-my delicate ego can't take it). So to redeem myself for such a heinous lapse in judgement, I have compiled a "week in highlights" list in order to get you up to speed:

1. MONIKA IS BACK! I forgot how much I love working with that girl; the place is kinda depressing without her constant laughter, silly jokes, and Slovakian accent. She is seriously my favorite person to work with. Seriously.

2. Ian is gone :( Cheffy Chef/Uncle Ian (I'm not sure I ever actually call him by his plain name) took a job down the road at the Riverside Inn. I miss him and the kitchen is in a bit of a shambles without him around, but at least he is still in Callander(I saw him and Fiona-his lovely girlfriend-at the pub last night...happy days). Gabor is his replacement who is really nice but quite timid which isn't so great when you're running a kitchen, so we'll see how that goes...

3. Veronika is on holiday. For two weeks, the person who pretty much takes care of everything that goes on in the tea room and shop, does the orders, and makes the shop list will be gone. So what does that mean for me? You guessed it...more responsibility and hours with the same pay. Oh joy. Actually I guess it's not too bad; I just have to do up the list for shop orders, make the schedules, and keep an eye on things with Monika during closing. It'll be good though. Veronika gets really stressed out at work so it will be a nice break for her (not to mention a nice break FROM her and her over analyzed ways. I love that girl, but dang she stresses to much).

4. Chris got his car fixed. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but he has this like 1970 something classic mini named Felix. Unfortunately, I get the sense Felix doesn't approve of me. Both times I rode in the car it broke down. Well you know my luck with automobiles, I guess it's starting to rub off on the people around me. Anyways, Felix took a little trip to the garage, so hopefully he's all better. Just don't ask me; I haven't been allowed to ride in him yet.

5. My lilies opened! Aren't they beautiful? It's so nice to have huge, bright, cheery flowers to be the first thing I see when I walk into my room. Makes even my bad days a bit easier to recuperate from.

So basically, that was my week. Well, in an annotated, numerical, basic form. I promise to blog in a more timely fashion this week as to provide more of the riveting details of life in Callander you so desperately want. Love/Miss.

The Replacement

I don't know what it is about the word replacement that draws such a negative image to the mind. When you look it up in the dictionary, it basically just means a substitute-something that can take the place of another. Like, I want to replace that apple with an orange. Maybe the apple is just as good, but at the moment you just feel like an orange. No big deal. However, when we put our human egos into the equation, the whole replacement theory starts to turn a bit nasty....the connotation of something being as good as or (gasp) better than us isn't the nicest feeling in the world I suppose. Regardless, I think I have. Been replaced that is. And you don't even know the worst of it yet, but I guess I should start from the beginning....





Monday was, once again, my day off. It started off a bit rocky though; since Monika is out of town, I wasn't sure if I would have to wait until she returned in the middle of the week to have an off day, and Veronika didn't get the schedule ready for me to check since she was behind on paperwork. Because I wasn't sure, I decided to be a good little worker and show up just in case. Unfortunately, I managed to sleep through my alarm. I dashed downstairs, straight out of bed looking a mess mind you, and started to help putting out the pies. Veronika came in a little after nine and asked what I was doing working on my day off. Yep. I missed my once a week opportunity to actually sleep in a bit. Oh well, I decided to go ahead and take advantage of my early morning rising; I grabbed a roll and went off for a walk down mainstreet.





By eleven I had had quite the productive day. I cleaned my room, went to the post office, picked up some stuff from the pharmacy, and, of course, visited the pdsa charity shop. I swear, Veronika, Aimee, and I single handedly keep that place in business. It's really quite an addiction. There's something about shopping in a second hand store; it's like a treasure hunt everytime you go in. I think you appreciate things more when you work for them-digging through baskets, sorting through piles of books, and managing to time your visits just as they put out the "new" merchandise. Also, it doesn't hurt that it's a whole lot cheaper. Oh and for charity. That too. Sorry, I get a bit excited when I talk about it. On this morning, I managed to find a really cute gray shirt dress for only 2 pounds. Oh well, you'll soon see my impulsive buying is not near as bad as some....





Anywho, I digress. Onto the real story. After my errand running morning, I was giving myself a pedicure with my brand new nailpolish purchased during my productive morning when Tony and Chris walked in to see if I wanted to go to Stirling with them to shop. Since I had already blown a little hard earned cash, I figured I would be a good girl and stay away from any shopping centers and save money on bus fair (plus my nails were wet and I couldn't risk mucking up my beautiful paint job by putting on some shoes). No worries they said. We won't be long. We're just going to pick up a few CDs and DVDs. Right. About twenty minutes later as I laid back relaxing with a book, I began to think I might have made a poor decision letting those two big kids loose with their wallets in a whole city full of shops. Believe it or not, my shopaholic little butt is actually the rational one when it comes to stopping Chris from making impulse purchases. Turns out my feminine intuition was right on. During their 'little' shopping trip, these two goofballs picked up a Playstation Three for Chris, 3 games to play on the new ridiculously expensive gaming device, games for Tony's PSP, DVDs, and CDs. Yeah. Oh, but here's the best part; Chris tried to sweeten me up before I found out; he woke me up from a nap with a gift. It was actually very sweet- he bought me Breakfast at Tiffany's, one of my favorite movies, because I have it downloaded on my computer but it won't play right. I'm not gonna lie, this was a pretty smooth move. On top of that, he also bought me a bouquet of Lilies- he's actually the first guy I've gotten flowers from besides my Dad (don't worry Daddy, your flowers will always be my favorite). So I guess I'm set. Now that my boyfriend is dating a machine instead of me, I'll have a good flick to watch and something nice to smell. Seems fair enough to me. However, I've got plans of my own. I just might invest in a Guitar Hero as soon as I have enough tips saved up; we'll see who's the replaced one then...

Rough day....

Today was kinda rough...it was just one of those days when everything is off kilter and you just don't feel quite right. To start off with, I've been sort of dreading today for the past week or so-three of my favorite girls in the world get to reunite for a little guitar hero playing, random dance party having, adventure finding, catching up, actually seeing each other in real life and hearing each other's voices reunion weekend.....without me. I managed to start my dreaded day off right whilst dressing for work. Now, my work uniform consists of black trousers and a black shirt...unfortunately, I only own one pair of black pants because I'm really picky about how my pants fit and I haven't managed to find another pair I like which is generally okay besides the fact I have to do some excessive washing to stay presentable. Anywho, this morning I was stepping into my pants when my clumsy butt stumbled, I tripped over my bed, sent my legs flying over my head into an aerial split, and ripped the whole backseam out. So there I am, three minutes before work, wearing a pair of what used to be a decent article of clothing that now resembles something a stripper might wear. Yikes. I think it's a sign when your pants rip that you might be eating too many cakes at work. Crap. Thankfully, ever the prepared boy scout, I threw open my cupboard, rummaged through my luggage, and searched frantically until I found my sewing kit. At this point in my post, I'd like to send an extra thank you out to two people: 1. My wonderful Grandma who taught me how to sew when I was wee girl (Scottish term...see, I'm learning!), and 2. My Mom who convinced me to bring this life saving sewing kit when I wanted to pack an extra pair of shoes instead. So I managed to handstich my trousers, (very carefully) get redressed, and made it downstairs only 10 minutes late. Luckily, Veronika wasn't mad because she thought the story was highly amusing...

The rest of the day didn't get much better; our already understaffed shop is missing Monika this week as well since she's on holiday back home, Aimee and Morag got off at two, so for the rest of the afternoon I was by myself in a busy shop dashing back and forth to the tearoom and kitchen to try and help out with clearing tables and doing the dishes. To really top it off, I managed to burn myself with a teapot....again. Now I have a big blotchy red welt on my forearm to match the burn scar on my finger. I should really learn how to operate those things more carefully.

Yeah, it's been a rough day. Sigh. It's funny really, I'm not really a person who gets homesick very easily. I didn't cry when I moved away to college, I don't constantly phone home (which is convenient since I don't own an operating phone anyways), I'm a very live in the moment and enjoy what's around you type of person. However, yesterday and today have been the most homesick days I have had so far. And it's not really homesick persay, it's more of I've been dwelling on what I'm missing out while I'm away. It's funny how the human mind works....rationally, I know life goes on whether I'm there to witness it or not. But in my mind and my heart, I feel as if time should stand still. See, I'm selfish like that. I want to be able to go off, have adventures, see the world, and for everything to wait for my return. Not childish thinking at all...huh? Well somedays, it just hits me on what I'm not there for....reunions with my besties, helping Reesy plan her wedding, watching my brothers grow up (I swear they are like new people everytime I go home), witnessing April get hitched and becoming Mrs. Buck (sorry, I just had to throw that in there love), Laura's graduation, Whitney's new man (yes, I'm talking about Mr. Eli), and, this is the worst bit, the little day to day life trivialities that aren't mentioned in emails or documented in pictures. It really is the little things that make life worth living, and I hate the feeling that I'm not around for them....but, then I think, even though it's difficult being away from home and everything that goes with it, I'm so lucky to have such amazing people to miss so much, to have the opportunity to live somewhere new and different where I can learn not only about other people but myself as well, to realize that y'all miss and love me too and always try to include me in what your up to, and most importantly know that no amount of distance can change how I feel about my friends, family, and home. So all in all, I don't think a little homesickness is a bad thing, on the contrary it reminds us of everything we have to live for, all the people we have the rest of our lives to catch up and share memories with, and that there really is no place like home. Thank you guys for being that for me....it almost makes feeling homesick a sweet thing.

nick·name [nik-neym]: -noun- a name added to or substituted for the proper name of a person, place, etc., as in affection, ridicule, or familiarity

"Nicknames stick to people, and the most ridiculous are the most adhesive." ~Thomas C. Haliburton

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

"Groucho is not my real name. I'm breaking it in for a friend." - Groucho Marx

Like it or not, I'm a girl prone to being nicknamed. I'm not really sure why either...it could be due to the unusual quality of my name, it could be phonetically induced as the "sh" sound is rather fun and easy to throw in front of any collection of sounds and pass it off as a term of endearment, or, and this is what I think is the real reason for the about 95% of my name replacement, people just can't remember the darn thing.

Well I'm not sure what got me to thinking about it, but I started tallying up all of my nicknames in my head as I walked down the street today, and the result is quite impressive if I do say so myself. The following is a master list of nicknames given to me for various reasons and occasions over my lifetime:

1. Shiv
2. Shivy
3. Chevy
4. Chevster
5. Vonne Shivonne
6. Shiv Non
7. Non Non
8. Non Head
9. Shivontee
10. Shinanders
11. Shipoopi
12. Chelsea (don't ask)
13. Shananana
14. Sguivebe (I've never actually tried to spell that one before. huh.)
15. Skippy McSkipperson
16. Bijon (that would be from when my baby brother couldn 't pronounce my name when learning how to talk)
17. Shinequa
18. Shinaynay
19. Miss Texas
20. Tex
21. Scrappy
22. Shivonay
23. Chevron
24. Shivoovi

To sum up, I just want to end with this one last quote I found on names that I really like:

"Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit." -Salman Rushdie

Lucky for me, this doesn't really apply since my name morphs and takes on new forms so often that I can't even remember them all to list here. But I kind of like it...if nothing else, it's a good way to keep me on my toes.

Shivonne and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Okay. I know in the past I've gotten wonderful loving comments on how inspiring and upbeat my blogs are and how you're all so proud of my positive attitude and what not.... so here's a fair warning; in case the title didn't tip you off, this will not be one of those blogs. I'm sorry, but at this moment it is not humanly possible. Bare with me.

Do you ever have a day that just inexplicably sucks? There's no big reason, no major catastrophe, no life altering dissapointing turn of events, no anything but simply general suckiness. That pretty much sums up my day. This morning, it took all my will power, determination, and the threat of possibly losing my job to motivate me into dragging my booty out of bed. I guess that was a little sign of what the day had in store for me....I should have known. By the time I made myself look halfway awake and presentable enough to face other human beings I started to feel a little better. That is, until I walked into the shop. From the time I stepped my foot in the door until I locked it at 5pm this evening we had a constant stream of customers milling around, ordering cakes, and pretty much annoying me. I'm not gonna lie, usually I'm damn good at customer service and I really do like interacting with people. It's not hard for me to keep a smile on my face, making jokes, and enjoying my work (at least as much as work can be enjoyed), but today, today was a different story. Everytime the door opened, I had a nagging urge to punch each customer in the face. I feel horrible saying it because I really didn't have any difficult people in, I was just so darned annoyed at everyone. What a horrible way to be. And I even tried breaking out of my funk but it wasn't happening. The worst part was how slowly the day passed. Usually when we stay busy with customers, the time just flies by, but not today. I thought it was never going to end. Oh well, it finally has ended so there's no point dwelling on it. Sorry for the little tantrum, but I needed to vent just a little. Don't worry, I'm over it now....I hope.

So other actually sudo important news....I got a raise! Now don't get too excited, I'm not really raking in the dough but I now earn more than my estimated 3 pounds per hour I was previously getting. I'd been meaning to ask for more money for awhile, but hadn't found the right time. Then yesterday all of a sudden Veronika was like 'okay. do it now.' Now, I had my doubts. Dick was running around trying to sort out some issues and had already been accosted by two unhappy employees which made me think that would be the absolutely WORST moment, but it turns out Veronika was right and everything was honkey monkey as she says.

Oh yeah, last but not least, I had my eyes checked out on Thursday. Turns out, I'm not exactly a genius when it comes to eyecare. The contact solution I've been using is 1. incompatible with my contacts and 2. over a year out of date. I guess that would explain the incessantly red and irritated eyes I've been walking around with for the past two months. You think I would have checked that before now huh? Oh well. I'm just relieved to know why...

Well alright, I'm sorry for the kind of downer/boring/loser post I've just written, but that's mainly all I have for now. I promise I'm turning my sucky attitude off and I'll be a much happier bunny the next time I write....but as always, I love and miss each and everyone of you like crazy. Muah!

Relaxing Day Off...

So after another busy weekend of selling cakes, pies, and bread (and maybe eating a few along the way), I was very pleasantly surprised at our weekly meeting Sunday night when Veronika let me have Monday off. I had requested Monday as my off day, but two people were going on holiday so I didn't get it....I've been trying to get Mondays off because that is when Mhor Fish is closed so Chris has a day off as well. I've been thinking it might be nice to see him for more than a couple of hours at night after he finishes works and before I have to hit the sack at a reasonable hour so I can drag myself out of bed for my early morning shifts (turns out our work schedules are a little less than compatible). Turns out my little mommy Veronika managed to take care of me and work it out...yay! Turns out I say turns out way too much. Hmmm... I should work on that.

Anywho, yesterday was a really nice lazy day complete with sleeping in, a (very) late breakfast in the tea room, a quick shopping trip up to Stirling, and finished off with a barbeque up at the Monachyle Mhor Hotel for Sven's going away party. I was really excited to visit the hotel because I had left my lovely black boots when I left over a month ago and haven't had them since. Unfortunately I managed to forget them once again. Crap. I guess I'll have to collect them the next time I'm up-let's hope it's less than a month this time.

Oh yeah! While we were in Stirling, Chris and I saw a pub called Longhorns...isn't that awesome? So of course I had to take a picture, and I even got Chris doing the hook em' horns in front of it. Nice.

As an added bonus, I didn't have to start work until 12 today. Yep. That's officially a day and a half off, and let me tell you, that's like the jackpot around here in our painfully understaffed shop. I got to have a bit of a lie in, do my laundry, pick up some jumpers and shirts from the charity shop that I absolutely adore here (I seriously go in at least twice a week to check if they've put anything new out....I'm kinda addicted actually), and then went by the pharmacy because I'm STILL having freaking crazy red eye syndrome. I woke up this morning and realized I forgot to take my contacts out. again. oops. So I hop up out of bed, pop those babies out, drench my eyes with drops, and pray for all to be well in a couple of hours. negative. by the time I was getting ready for work, my eyes were so sore and sensitive that I couldn't check my email because the computer screen hurt too badly to look at....no way I was going to be able to wear my contacts today. Oh, and did I mention I snapped my glasses in half? And forgot my spare pair. Way to go Shivonne. Anyways, Veronika, ever my little momma, lent me her glasses to I could see (after giving me a talking to about sleeping in my contacts) and I ran up to the pharmacy before starting work. When I told the pharmacist my symptoms, she said she didn't feel comfortable giving me anything and I should really see an optometrist. So here I am, fifteen minutes until work begins, with my eyes bloodshot red, pouring water, giving me the sniffles, and I can't even look people in the face because the sunlight hurts too dang badly. After finally talking the lady out of some eyewash, I jet back to the shop to start my shift wondering how I'm going to make it until my next day off when I'll be able to get to an optometrist before five. Luckily, Aimee said she would switch her early shift with me on Thursday so I can leave at two and a catch a bus to Stirling....so we'll see how that goes. I'm so tired of looking like I've just had a tear fest. Geeze.

Alright, well I guess that's all the update I have for now....love you people!

"Time, Always Time"

So I'm sitting in front of my laptop after a long busy day at work trying to figure out what I can write about my life today. I mean, it's been three days since I've updated so I figure it's time to blog again-I really do like to keep everyone I care about a close part of my life. However, when the time comes to actually record a piece of who I am right now into an ill fitting text that isn't a complete bore to read, my mind wanders rambling from topic to topic. But then something happens to direct my thoughts and today, today it happens to be a song.

I always have music on in the background whenever possible, sometimes actively listening to the lyrics, other times just letting the tune fill the silence with borrowed emotion. Anyways, the point I'm trying to get to is that I've been listening to one of my favorite artists-Damien Rice-while I've been on the computer-not really paying any particular attention until a certain song comes on that for some reason I stop and listen to, though I already know every word by heart, and it got me to thinking about time....

Time is such a funny concept; we try to measure it, capture it, beat it, change it, slow it, sometimes even stop it as if it is something we have the power to contain. But then, something happens and like a slap in the face we realize time has gotten the better of us again just when we thought we had it under control. I have been away from home for over two months now, and I really could not tell you where the time has gone. At some moments, I feel as if it has been an eternity since I heard y'alls laughter or seen your smile. Othertimes, I cannot believe my time abroad is halfway gone, and I only have three more months to squeeze in as many more experiences as I possibly can. I let time trick me, lulling me into the day to day routine of consistency and work and now I look up and weeks have flown by taking with them days I have lived to the fullest, and some days I just let pass me by. My goal for my remaining time here is to have more of those days I really take advantage of, grabbing opportunities, and making amazing memories and not so many of the days constricted by tiresome thoughts only of work, sleep, and what I have left on my to do list. Life is too beautiful to be continuously caught up in conceptualized notions such as time, for what difference does it make what time it is when you're truly enjoying life?

Okay, enough of my random thoughts on broad and overanalyzed topics, I'll just leave you with a taste of the lyrics which inspired this rather off beat post:

"Some things in life may change

and some things they stay the same

like time

there's always time

on my mind

so pass me by

i'll be fine

just give me time"

Things that make me smile....

1. Receiving post from my friends and family
   
   
   
2. The smell of fresh cut grass (reminds me of my daddy)




3. Playing the perfect song that is the musical realization of how you feel exactly at that point in your life




4. Pretending I can be an amateur photographer (you can check out my new pics through my photograph link...just don't laugh at me!)




5. Comments on my blog posts by my favorite people




6. Decorating my sad new room with flowers, scarves, knick knacks, and most importantly pictures to make it feel like home




7. Splashing around in my new wellies for the first time (even if it does make me cringe a little that I'm getting them dirty. gah. I'm such a girl about these things)




8. People laughing when I tell them "Bye! Have a good day!" Apparently, this is a very American thing to say and quite amusing to these Scottish folk.




9. Discovering new books, including my current literary obsession of short stories by the Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho- "Like the Flowing River"...pick it up when you're in the mood to feel inspired.




10. Remembering how lucky I am to have such a unique and kick-a experience at this point in my life, but better yet-knowing I am blessed with the best friends and family in the world who always have my back, support me unconditionally, keep me in their prayers, and make life worth living. Thank you all so very much.